Home » 7 Hypochondriac Examples That Will Make You Laugh

7 Hypochondriac Examples That Will Make You Laugh

If you’re a hypochondriac, you are all too familiar with the intrusive thoughts, the endless worries, and the constant state of non-relaxation. While hypochondria can feel like a very isolating condition, there are some universal experiences that most hypochondriacs can relate to, regardless of how long you have been a hypochondriac or what types of hypochondriac thoughts you tend to gravitate towards.

Here are seven classic universal hypochondriac examples that will make you laugh:

Worrying that a headache is a brain tumor.

We’ve all had headaches. But for a hypochondriac? A headache is always, always the first sign of a major brain tumor. Never mind the fact that you haven’t drank water in three days, haven’t slept more than a few hours per night, have a total caffeine dependency, and stare at a brightly-lit screen all day long…it has to be a brain tumor, right?

It should give hypochondriacs relief to know that most headaches are not caused by brain tumors, but it’s still always the first thought in mind!

Fearing that a rash or a mole is a sign of skin cancer.

Look, we’ve all done it: we see something new on our skin and we immediately think that it’s a sign of skin cancer. But the truth is that our skin is incredibly sensitive. Rashes can result from many different causes, ranging from not serious at all to very serious. Most of the time, rashes on our skin are from minor occurrences such as a food allergy, an allergy to a laundry detergent, or a reaction to a medication.

Let’s move on to moles. Most moles are benign, but there are some types of moles (such as melanoma) that can be very, very dangerous left unattended. For this reason, it’s a great idea to do a yearly skincare check with a dermatologist to rule out anything serious.

Believing that a stomach ache is a sign of stomach cancer.

Stomach aches are just about as common as they come, so it makes sense that they’re a part of the common hypochondriac examples. Stomach aches can result from so many different factors that are not stomach cancer! For instance: food poisoning, lactose intolerance, food allergies, bacterial infections, viral infections, digestion issues, gastritis, peptic ulcer, irritable bowel syndrome…the list goes on, and on!

If you are having stomach aches and visit a doctor, their first inclination is not going to be that you have stomach cancer. They will probably have you go through a variety of different tests to rule out other issues first, like the issues mentioned above. If, after all the tests, the doctor still cannot figure out what is wrong, they may order more complicated tests or scans to rule out anything more serious.

Thinking that a cold is a sign of pneumonia.

The common cold is, well, common. It’s no fun to be sick, but being stuck in bed is a very common thing when you have a cold. Even though people downplay colds, they are actually quite miserable to have when you have them! From stuffy noses to sneezing to headaches…no, thank you.

Luckily, pneumonia is much more uncommon than the common cold.

Worrying that a cough is a sign of lung cancer.

Coughs are very, very common, and they can arise for all sorts of reasons. Some common causes of coughs are postnasal drip, asthma, the common cold, acid reflux, allergies, the flu, strong smells, mold, dust, upper respiratory tract infections, and pet dander.

Many hypochondriacs tend to come to the conclusion that a cough is a sign of lung cancer. Usually, no! Most coughs go away on their own within 2-6 weeks, depending on the severity of the cough. If your cough lasts longer than that, go to a doctor to rule out anything more serious. Otherwise, load up on tea and honey to help soothe your throat in the meantime.

Fearing that a fever is a sign of Ebola.

A fever is just a sign that the body is fighting off an infection, and while they’re not common, they usually indicate a response to relatively normal and/or common conditions.

Ebola, on the other hand, is not a very common condition. It’s a deadly virus, and there is no cure, so it’s understandable that a hypochondriac would be worried about contracting it. However, the chances of contracting ebola are very low, especially if you live in a developed country. There have only been a handful of cases of ebola in the United States, and all of them have been in people who have traveled to countries where the virus is prevalent. So, while it’s understandable that a hypochondriac would be worried about contracting ebola, the chances of it actually happening are very slim unless the previously mentioned conditions are true.

So, rest up, drink lots of liquids, and wait for your fever to break. It’s going to be okay!

Believing that a sore throat is a sign of throat cancer.

Sore throats are very common, and usually don’t last very long. They can be a result of viruses, bacteria, allergies, overusing your voice, sleeping with your mouth open, etc.

Sore throats usually resolve on their own within 1-5 days with or without treatment, depending on the cause of your sore throat. But, a hypochondriac will often convince themselves that the worst possible scenario is the most likely one and so they’ll start to panic. This can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety, not to mention doctor’s bills! Believing sore throats are a sign of throat cancer is one of the most common hypochondriac examples.

Which one of these common hypochondriac examples have you experienced in the past?

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If you are currently experiencing medical concerns, it’s important to talk to a doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions. HypochondriacHQ does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or seen on this website.

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